GAY BAR
by demonic blood shed666
Summary: I wanna take you to a gay bar, I wanna take you to a gay bar, I wanna take you to a gay bar, gay bar, gay bar!" oneshot, rated for language and suggested themes and very, very slight lime. please read and review


"Potter! I swear to Merlin that if you do-_Don't you fucking touch me!_"

Harry grinned, green eyes flashing amusedly under their glasses. He gently rubbed the pinkish red hand print lining his cheek, never taking his eyes off of his frightened quarry. "But I want to touch you. Besides, my hands have minds of their own, they can't seem to keep away from your scrumptious little ass."

Draco blanched and shivered. "Don't fucking talk like that Potter!" Teeth bared the blonde straightened his back and clenched his fists by his sides, the usual Malfoy glare turning thousands of times stronger than the usual. "And fuck that scar head! I swear if you touch me again I'll massacre you."

The Gryphindor just grinned once more, idly ignoring the threat, his teeth gleaming with predatory delight. "Is that so?" He cupped his hands behind his back, gracefully gliding in circles around the frazzled Slytherin using the empty hall to his full advantage. The Malfoy child spun on the spot, furious grey eyes keeping track of the brunettes every move.

Malfoy snarled, his right hand twitching towards his robe pocket where his wand was. "Yes that is fucking so. So don't bloody touch me again!"

Harry clicked his tongue. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news my love-"

"Don't call me that! I'm not your love!"

"-But I don't think you will. And with all of your talk of 'fuck' it appears you are ignoring what you really desire my sweet." Harry continued on as if there were no interruptions, the circles he was walking in consistently growing smaller.

"Don't test me Potter. You don't know what I will and will not do." Draco's cheeks were turning red in flustered anger, his grey eyes flashing in a dangerous manner.

"OO I'm so scared," was the snide reply and even a blind person would have been able to hear the smirk in the Golden Boy's voice. "But if you really were going to harm me you would have done so straight from the get go, at the exact second my howler blew."

Draco blushed to the roots of his slicked back white blonde hair and his stomach twisted in a horrible fashion that made his nerves tingle. "How the fuck was I supposed to know who bloody sent the thing?!"

"My initials were in its ashes."

The snake snarled, his inner self pulling at the strands of his phantom hair, eyes glowing like evil, manipulative little stars in a dramatic show that was only found in the prissiest of girls. Cough-Pansy, Lavender, Parvati-cough. 'Damn him! Damn it all!'

The day started as a normal, everyday sort of day. Everyone was sitting at their respective house tables in their respective seats next to their friends or allies eating their breakfast and receiving their mail from the flurry of feathery birds known as owls from above.

Draco was smirking, laughing at a tale Blaise had told about his latest conquest with some Ravenclaw who he no longer knew the name to when the bird came to him.

Now, Draco was used to getting owls from many people. All of the gifts and letters being given were either from his parents, friends, or as the majority of them were from transfixed fans who wanted to get into his beds the new owl was of no surprise. He was a normal barn owl, light brown feathers contrasted with darker shades and even a few specks of black, gold eyes large as they stared at him and dropped the red envelope directly in front of him before flying off.

Everyone in the hall grew silent as they stared awestruck at the stricken Slytherin. Never in all his years had the Malfoy heir received a howler and every student in the school were anxious to hear embarrassing shouts directed at the school bully.

Terrified Draco remained still, eyes wide as he looked at the imposing envelope. Pansy nudged him with her elbow and cast the howler a meaningful look, she was right he supposed, better to open it now than when it opened on its own.

However the second he opened it and the music filled the air he wished he were dead.

The guitars were playing in a Hawaiian sort of way with beating drums in the background, but the voice was even more petrifying as the male sung in a low, suggestive tone.

"YOU!

"I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR,

"I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR,

"I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR!"

Face paled to the brink of corpse white Draco sunk in his seat, unable to look away from the horrible, horrible messenger. The Slytherins' sitting at the table were transfixed, wide eyed as they observed the sheet that seemed to dance with the music and even the professors were horrified.

"LET'S START A WAR.

"START A NUCLEAR WAR.

"AT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR WHOW!"

The other tables slowly started to grin, snickers flowing within the Great Hall as the words finally registered in their minds.

"AT THE GAY BAR!"

Why oh why did this have to happen to him? Draco whimpered as he clutched his hands over his ears, fear beyond all fear overcoming him along with disgust as his two goons Crabbe and Goyle started to sway and dance to the upbeat music.

Worse still they kept lip singing, gay bar over and over.

"NOW TELL ME DO YOU,

"BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY MONEY?

"I WANNA SPEND ALL YOUR MONEY,

"AT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR!"

Here the music abruptly ended and the howler blew into a burst of flames and inscribed in the ashes were two initials. _HP. _Oh how that boy was going to pay!

Laughter erupted in the hall, students falling out of their seats with food and drinks spraying out of their mouths, all of them pointing amusedly at the bright red teen. Draco who had, had enough of the treatment stood from his seat and quickly left the room, the last straw being even McGonnagal stifling laughter.

That had just been in the morning and for the rest of the day students and even some teachers alike continued to tease him about the new admirer. Weasley had even had the gall to sing it aloud during Transfiguration which received a detention from a simpering McGonnagal.

Now at the end of the day the young Malfoy expected to have a little peace, sitting at his place at the table waiting for dinner to arrive.

Half an hour into service everything seemed to be somewhat back to normal except for that one, stray owl that flew through the window, headed straight for the blonde.

Another howler.

The hall waited silent, all grinning as they waited for the explosion to occur and Draco didn't even have the chance to run or incinerate the thing because it didn't even hit the table before it started with the music.

"I'VE GOT SOMETHIN' TO PUT IN YOU!

"I'VE GOT SOMETHIN' TO PUT IN YOU!

"I'VE GOT SOMETHIN' TO PUT IN YOU!

"AT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR!"

Never in all of his life had Draco felt such mortification but the simple words and implications that everyone understood sent him running towards the doors, his face redder than the Weasley's hair. It was the next sequence that put the salt in the wound however when both McGonnagal and Snape burst into guffaws of laughter.

"YOU'RE A SUPTERSTAR, AT THE GAY BAR,

"YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BAR,

"YEAH, YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR AT THE GAY BAR!

"YOU'RE A SUPERSTAR, AT THE GAY BAR.

"SUPERSTAR, SUPERSTAR, SUPERSTAR, SUPERSTAR…"

The doors banged shut behind him but still their laughter on the inside was making him want to go jump in the lake. He was Draco fucking Malfoy damn it! Shit like that wasn't meant to happen to him! _He _was supposed to do it to others not the other way around! Arugh!

And that was when Boy Wonder stepped through the double doors, the smuggest smirk ever seen planted on his handsome features.

Leading up to where they are now.

"I'm going to fucking kill you Potter! You may have beaten You Know Who but you shalt not defeat me!" Blonde hair frizzing into a dazzling display of golden white spikes and sharp demonic teeth Draco pulled out his wand. "O thou wilt despair thou's own birth! Mwuahahahaa!"

Harry blinked, the grin wiped off his features for a second and before a word could come out of his open mouth a chant was echoing out of the Great Hall.

"DRACO MALFOY IS THE SUPERSTAR AT THE GAY BAR!"

Twitching Malfoy placed on an eerie grin, a frightening, and amusing, expression forming on the pale face. "O how thou wilt despair thou's birth."

With his love interest's wand leveled at his face Harry didn't even think when the blonde started to reap his worthy revenge with a dark curse…

He only reacted.

With the skills given to him by his father Potter used his seeker like reflexes to duck under the oncoming hex and smash his lips onto the young Malfoy's. The Slytherin squeaked when the brunette pushed him into the wall and ground their hips together, instantly making the grey eyed boy to drop his wand as the one in his nether regions quickly grew interested.

Grey eyes still glaring Harry gazed into them with intense green orbs as he rotated his hips, forcing entry into the scrumptious mouth and tasting the delicious, original taste that was pure Draco Malfoy.

Moving his mouth to Draco's ear Harry nibbled on the shell, licking the sensitive lobe until Draco groaned and closed his eyes, muscles turning to jelly between the rock and hard place he was stuck between.

With the continuous rotations of hips that constantly sent the delicious friction of hard erections rubbing through imprisoning trousers Draco couldn't help but wither under the verses the Boy Who Lived was singing in his ear. Even if they were the ones who would have pissed him off the most if anyone else were present.

"I wanna take you to a gay bar,

"So let me take you to a gay bar."

With a particular powerful thrust the Malfoy yelped as electricity jolted through him, the husky voice making his eyes roll.

"I want you to be my superstar at the gay bar."

This was very strange. Please forgive me if it sucked but if you enjoyed it feel free to leave a review and the last two lines of the song were my own, not the actual thing.

Ja ne.


End file.
